What's In Your Nugget?

Me: The chicken nuggets are ready. Have at it.

Hubs: (walks into kitchen, puts nuggets on plate and stops in his tracks): Woman, I'm gonna have to teach you the proper condiments to serve with nuggets.

Me: I got the mustard, ketchup, spicy ketchup and BBQ sauce out, Your Holiness. What did I forget. 

Hubs: It's NOT mustard and ketchup, woman. It's BBQ sauce and Honey Mustard.

Me: Wait. We have Honey Mustard? I didn't see that in there.

Hubs: That's because I was hiding it from you. I know how you are. I'd blink and the honey mustard would be gone. Much like the BBQ sauce is.

Me: I can't believe after all these years you don't trust me with the Honey Mustard. Who feeds you? Who scrubs your back in the shower? Who tends to the dogs and makes sure they don't bother you while you're recovering from surgery? Who looks at your Harley and makes sure it's still shiny as all hell? Who, I ask you!?

Hubs: Don't be eyeballing my bike. And next time, it's 9 chicken nuggets - not 8. Dogs have to snack, too.

Me: Leave my presence and never return.

Insta-Gratification

Ok, this isn't as kinky as one might think :)

I love punksmitharmory on Instagram - he has the greatest comic book collection I've seen in a long time.

Check it out - Thor !!!

#thorsday #thor #themightythor #mjolnir #hela #odinson #waltsimonson #marvelcomics #marvel #comic #comics #comicbooks #comicbook #comicbookcollector #comicbookcollection #comiccollection #comiccollector #comicnerd #comicgeek #comicbookart #comicart #comiccovers #comicbookcovers #comiccoveroftheday #igcomicfamily #photography #photoftheday

A photo posted by Punksmith Armory (@punksmitharmory) on Nov 10, 2016 at 9:44am PST

Southern-ness 101 : They Law or They Lawd

I was born and raised in the south.  That's not a bad thing.  It doesn't mean I'm an uneducated hillbilly in overalls, barefoot and pregnant in the dirt floor kitchen grinding wheat for flour.  However, we do have a colorful language that most people, those not raised here, understand.

I've decided to throw in some gems.  Lynita may, as well.  These are not specific to any race but are things that I've heard time and time again.  Mostly when I was young, so bare with me.  Definitions are relative because that's another thing we're good at down here, creating a whole other definition of a word no one else understood to begin with.

They Law or They Lawd:  This is a phrase used when you are shocked by an incident. Similar to "I never".

Also has been heard as "laaaaaw" or "they laaaaw".  The amount of a's and a-emphasis depends on how shocking the event was. 

Used in a sentence: (To do this properly in a southern way, you must do this with a drawl and pronounce the name Loretta=lO-retta, police=pO-lees and garage=gare-aj.

Mama 1: Did you hear about Loretta?
Mama 2: Why, no! I sure didn't.
Mama 1: Lord, honey, she's done called the police on that nephew of hers for taking a rake out of her garage.
Mama 2: THEY LAAAW! She's done lost her mind.  Now, that sweet baby just wanted to rake some leave; ain't nothing wrong with that.

This is the first in my series of Southern-ness 101. If you like it, comment.  If you have questions or suggestions, comment about that too. :)

Rev, The Audio / Video Transcription & WAH

In the middle of September one of my marvelous sisters, and my other blog author, told me about Rev.

Rev does general transcription, translation and caption for clients and you listen to audio or watch videos and give them the most accurate account of what you're seeing and hearing.  Some work is verbatim which is exactly what you see and hear, generally they will tell you how they want you to write up what you see into the file.  Other times you are left to ask staff or head to their forums. I've never had a question that wasn't answered by a Revver within minutes.  They pay weekly!  You are independent so you do not have a schedule, you do not always have work, you won't get fired unless you really screw up or unless you contact a client (big no no) and you don't get benefits but you are paid for what you do weekly and via paypal.

You have 3 levels you can choose from:
Transcription
Captioner
Translator

Transcription:  This one is the only one I can tell you about, for fact, because I've tried it and do it almost daily.  According to Rev's Main Freelance Page,Transcriptionists make $0.40-$0.65 per audio minute.  This varies greatly.  When you start out in transcription, you are ... you know what, lets back this up.
*insert rewind noise*
Okay, when you sign up for Rev you have to answer questions, go to a typing site (they give you the link) and find out your typing speed.  Mine is 60+ WPM, which I knew, but you have to do the site link.  Upload a resume and wait.
*back to the present noise*

When you pass your tests they send an email that you've been accepted or rejected.  You don't have to be perfect.  I see transcriptionists typing in the forums and it makes my skin crawl with the error, misspellings and grammar but they work.  You do have to have basic grammar and, if accepted, you will have to go to their site (again they provide the links) and go through training and videos.  I don't know about you but that made me terribly nervous.  What if I forget?  What if I don't have the time to complete this?  It's okay.  You have to complete these to move on.  I did this in a few hours but I had other stuff going on.

After a week I received notification that I was accepted and ready to start.
You begin as a Rookie.  That's your title.  Jobs are not much.  There might be 25 jobs at any given time.  My first choice was a nearly 26 minute audio file.  It was an interview with two people.  I made about $0.42 cents per audio minute to start.  I had no idea how long this would take me. It took me FIVE HOURS (certainly not the norm now). BUT I made a 5 out of 5 for accuracy and 5 out of 5 for formatting.  These are important because REV works on a metrics system.  We'll go into that in a bit.  To move up in levels you need to have 60 minutes of work reviewed.  Everything you do is graded (eventually) and sent on to the client.  If they have to re-do your work you receive a poor grade and the amount they pay you is less than what you were promised.  If they tell you that you will make $0.42 per audio minute that is IF you make 5/5 in accuracy and formatting.  They take a few cents off if you do not.  My first audio, with 5/5 I made over $10.

Rookie to Revver
My advice is to choose less minutes in the beginning.  Make sure you ALWAYS listen to the audio before you accept the job.  The less minutes, the more practice you get.  You don't have someone over your shoulder telling you what not to do.  Read their resources, take notes, make a special folder in your favorites just for Rev that you can refer to.  Don't forget if you are stuck to use the forums but be SURE you get the work in on time. If you can't complete the work in a given time, you can get out of it.  Generally, you have one hour to unclaim the work you are in for whatever reason and not receive a penalty.  If you go over that time then they take points off of your on-time submission rate.  That's why it's important to listen to the audio before you take the job.

Moving from Rookie up to a Revver you need to have 60 minute of work reviewed and have at least a 4.2 accuracy, 4.2 formatting, 75% of your work has to be submitted on time and 8 commitment ratio. Meaning the rate you've unclaimed after the hour given.  I did this within a week but I focused a lot of time on it.

Revver to Revver+
You have to have at least 60 days of work in with Rev, 4.6 accuracy rate, 4.6 formatting, 90% on-time submission, 15 commitment ratio AND 400 minutes transcribed.  I'm not here yet but I'm working on it.  I have 40 or so days in, 4.8 accuracy, 4.9 formatting, 100% on-time, 19 Commitment ratio and 226 minutes.  I can access my Metrics at any time and see where I missed something.  I've only had one thing I had to back out of after an hour.  I have 4 jobs that have yet to be graded because we don't always have graders.  Once you reach Revver+, you CAN be demoted if you drop below their required numbers.

Pay :  Pay for a Revver certainly goes up.  I've hardly seen any where I get paid less than $0.50 but as a general rule they are $0.52-$0.65.  Occasionally one comes through with $0.95.  They tell you the range of pay is $0.40-$0.65 but the above is what I have seen in the more than a month I've worked there. They will never pay you more than that because they only charge $1 per audio minute to the clients and they'd not make money.

You can apply to be a Grader once you have everything you need to be a Revver+.  From what I've read on the forums, however, the graders have been far too strict on some, taking points away on accuracy and formatting when it wasn't necessary (you can dispute if you feel you did better) and you don't really make that much more money.  We shall see, I'd like to try that once I get enough minutes.

Captioner and Translator:
I'm afraid I can't give you information on that as I have not applied to those.  I couldn't translate anything unless it's 11 or 16 yr old lingo so I'm out of that one completely.  I was reading today that Caption is different in that you can still be a Transcriptionist and work Captions.  They are the same company but two branches that are separate. I'm considering trying out for that one this week.  You have to apply the same as you would for Transcription and you may or may not be hired, however, you will not lose your job in Transcription if you don't make it or if you are fired.

Pay : I didn't bold this one because I haven't been hired in those so I don't know for certain.
Captioner is said to make $0.40-$0.75 per video minute.
Translator is said to make $0.05-$0.07 per word.

The differences here are audio minute and video minute are not by the word!! I want to make that really clear.  The most I've made in the month+ I've been a Revver is $31.90.  I did 4 jobs that week.  Yesterday I did a 21 minute 21 second transcription and made $16.01.  One week I did 3 jobs, each were 10 m 4 s each (we'll talk about that in a sec) and only 1 was scored (yet).  I made $5.03, $7.55 and $6.54.

I keep track of everything in a notebook just for Rev stuff.  At the end of the year I'll have to file and pay taxes on what I've made so I want to know what the job was, what I made and how long it took me.  One was an officer interviewing a guy in a murder case (like reality, not made up show, a real officer interview), another was an interview with two former football players (a couple original guys that went from all black schools and were integrated in the 40-50s) and some other interview.  Two of them took 3 hours each, one took 2 hours.

TIME: This depends.  As I said, you'll see a lot that are 10m 4s.  This is because sometimes audio is uploaded that's 60+ minutes and people try to do it but they can't or no one does it and it sits there.  The client will still want that audio so they break it down into parts.  Then you have 6 audios where you had 1.  The police interrogation took me 3 hours.  The officer was Hispanic and the young man was African American.  I could understand them perfectly for the most part but you will have to pause and go back so many time's it seems crazy.  You'll have phone calls, you'll have the kids text you and need picked up, dishes that need done, laundry needing put in the dryer, dog that needs out, grab a drink or a potty break or even just have to pause and glare at your home phone that won't stop ringing. ("CAN'T YOU SEE I'M WORKING HERE?!!" When clearly, they can't, they're on the phone.  Moron.)

I start work in the mornings, listening to audios and seeing what I can/can not do.  If I accept one I need about 2-3 hours for a short one, 3-5 hours for one that's 20-30 minutes.

I have to weigh what is important for me that day by what job I choose.  I generally like to do shopping for groceries in the mornings so i don't take a project before I shop.  I don't want to not complete it and have to back out.  I have my mother in law that a few times a month needs a lift to town for things.  I never know when she will get up.  I set times but those are relative and don't matter.  I go over and she's not up or she is and after waiting for 5 hours she decides to go another day.  Or, as has happened and did today, one of the kids gets to school and wants to come home with some random illness.

This job is not a long term solution for finances.  This is a job you do if you want to make $100 or so a month extra. (Again, don't forget to set some aside for when you do taxes.  You are now an Independent Contractor.) On my best week, I made almost $32.  The audio I completed came to just over 56 minutes transcribed or an average of $0.57 per audio minute.  Looking at my notes I can tell you the 4 took me a total of 10 hours that week to do.  So even though it took me 10 hours I was paid for 56 minutes.  That's $3.20 per hour.  You do this for the experience and the love of typing...not the pay.

WHAT YOU NEED:
A computer or a laptop that can run their page and their audio files
Typing skills
General understanding of Grammar!
That's it.
It's nice to have a set of headphones that you have a volume control on.  You can use a foot pedal but I do not have one yet and work just fine.

That's about it.
I'm here and available for any questions anyone might have.
REV is a real company. It offers you REAL work at home.  If you have silence, nothing at all to do and nothing but time, you can make some good money with this company.  For my situation I just make peanuts.  I can't work when the teen, preteen or hubby are home because it's time to cook, clean, talk, homework, etc.  Daytime is the only time but even that is limited.

I will try to take some screenshots and add those this week!  Again, if you have questions or comments, we get notified and will respond. :)

Broken Record

I know I come here a lot to vent. It seems like it's all I do is blog about some nonsensical thing the 11 year old does. I suppose I think that somewhere out there will be a reader having the same problem or a parent that says "this might work" instead of the eternal darkness that is the tunnel I'm walking through with this kid.

I know there's an end to it. Occasionally I think I see a speck of light. A morning when he gets up, he's giggly and goes off to play a game or watch a video while he wakes up, he hears me come up the stairs to ask him to get dressed and he leaps up and throws on clothes and when it's time for the bus he's out the door before his older brother and we're there early, no running up the 200+ feet driveway. That happened one day this week. Monday, maybe Tuesday. I don't know, they've all run together and it's only Thursday.

Today, I woke him at 6am as usual. Hubby has been going in early this week, leaving at 6:10-6:15am. The rule was if 11yrold misbehaved we would just let him start going in with dad, get dropped off at 7am on his way to work and he'd just be there an extra hour a day. If he can't get up and go for me then he'll get up and go with dad. That plan is non-existent while he's going in early because no one would be there at 6:20-6:30am at the middle school. Hubby makes a 1/2 hour drive to work and back every day and because he's there early this week it would make going in early not matter if he has to drive home and get 11yrold jerkface and take him 5 miles to prove a point.

So, back to today. He woke at 6am. I turned on his game, gave him hugs and kisses, his alarm went off, he growled at me and rolled back over. I explained that his game was on and I would be back. I made hubby's coffee, gave him smooches and he was out the door for work. Back up the stairs I go at 6:15, wake up 11yrold, more hugs, speaking calmly, I even got him a drink. The dog came in and gave him kisses so he got up and got to his game. YAY! Winning!

I gave him until 6:45 to get in some wake up time. I went in to ask him to get dressed and it was 20 minutes of hissy time.

11: You don't ever listen to me. I'm sick.
me: You are not sick, you were just playing your game.
11: See, you don't listen to me.
me: I don't have to when you say the same thing 180 days out of the year. You're sick, I don't listen to you, I'm making you go to prison, you hate it there, you want to be home schooled, I hate you because I'm making you go to a prison where you'll grow old and die. Now, honey, what was it that you wanted to say? I'm listening.
11: Well you said what I wanted to say.
me: Exactly. So how is it that I'm not listening when I just knew what you were going to say?
11: You don't listen to me!

All of this was while I was trying to get socks on him because he's not doing it himself. I hurt his leg because I was holding it steady to get the sock on. I get his legs in his pants and the shirt over his head before I walk off to get myself ready to walk them up ... because for whatever reason, he really likes when I walk up with them. Even when he's mad. After all this he gets down the stairs and gets his shoes on. I think I might have sent my 16yrold out in a hoodie for girls, if there's such thing, but he doesn't care because he'll take what he gets and rock'n'roll with it. That's his flow. 11yrold yells at me that he's sick and I won't even give him medicine. I say, really? Because I've said I'll take him to the doctor and medicate whatever is causing all this and he refuses saying it'll just make him angry. So that's not an argument.

I don't know, I don't get it. I wouldn't care to take them to school. Let them sleep a little longer and just drive them in but first, 16yrold has a friend on his bus that he loves to hang out with and second, my van just won't do it every day. I could go pick up the friend and I wouldn't hate that but again, I can't. My old van blew some tube. I'd type it all out but as a general rule it's going to be a mom reading this crappy post, not a mom/mechanic who knows what I mean or cares. The newer van I got was $700. The guy got it as a trade in from a young woman whose name wasn't on the title but she's just bought it and wanted a truck or something. He wouldn't return the money when I realized I had to hunt down the original seller several counties away to get the title signed over to me so after a ton of trouble, a ton of running, the van was mine. Now it's got tons of problems (as you'd expect) and when you start it, if it starts because that's tricky (been stranded until it decides it wants to and the culprit is none of the usual suspects) then you have a loud exhaust from front to back that super stinks. The auto door locks keep you from getting in the side and back doors 98% of the time, the key is bent and will eventually give up the ghost, there's some electrical damage, a recall on an item that sets the vans on fire was never repaired, the gauges go bonkers and I have to use my cell phone as the speedometer and guess at fuel consumption and the back passenger break is stuck on something and keeps making a screeching sound unlike the one it makes when it's worn down. So, yes, driving them every morning isn't even a valid option.

I'll wrap this one up and start working on another, less boo-hoo post about the new work I'm doing. :) If anyone has suggestions or any chest thumping "I feel ya girl!" that you'd like to share, I'd love to read the comments. :)

***Edited to add: Yesterday I received an email that in his SS teacher that his behavior is a problem.  He says inappropriate things, leaves books in class or gets other students books or "does something to a student.  Nothing big, just aggravating."  Today I get a call from the vice principal letting me know he dropped the F bomb in Math class so he'll be in ISS tomorrow.  This evening he came in with a letter from Math saying he has an after school detention on Tuesday for "grade recovery" and one from Science saying basically the same thing.

I'm breaking the law!

Yeah, bitches, I'm hardcore breaking the law. I'm gonna keep doing it every damn day. Wanna take me in? Wanna take me downtown? Book'em Dano and all that crap? BRING IT LOL

Rewind.

Last week the boys, 16 and 11, had the stomach virus. By "the boys" had it I mean the 16 year old had it for 3 days and stayed home the extra two because 1)he had a doctor's note for the whole week because he was sick and 2)his stomach still gurgled like he needed to and it's wrong to send him with him sick to make others sick and to be uncomfortable. I emailed all his teachers to get his work and find out about testing but only ONE high school teacher responded. Thanks gang.

NOW, the 11 yr old had what I like to call "sympathy poops" because he'd go to the bathroom once a day, for long periods of time, no evidence of having diarrhea at all and run half naked chasing the dog for the rest of the day ... until 6am or so the next day he had ghost poops. Two days he stayed out for observation but nothing materialized. Friday I had to dress him like he was a toddler, shoes and all, while he screamed at me that he was sick and he'd never make it.

11 year old goes to school but the nurse calls me at 10 am to get him because he feels sick. I check on the 16 yr old, he's okay, I was supposed to take Mother In Law out today so that'll wait, go out to start the used van we've had for 3 months and it won't start. I sit in the van and cry for a good long while before finally breaking down and texting Hubbs to apologize for asking but could he leave work at his job in another county and go get the 11 year old toddler from his "prison". Hubby was sick the week before for 3 days of missed work and two days that week, both he and the 16 yr old saw a doc who basically said "if it continues, call me". 11 year old gets home, hubby feels like maybe he really is sick and Hubbs goes back to work (30 minute drive to and from work so an HOUR he had to take off). 11 year old goes to the bathroom but then tells me "well you told me I could come home after school photos". WHAT?!?!

Weekend was fine, everyone was normal and felt better.

Monday morning was pretty much a repeat of Friday. "I'm sick, I'm not going to make it, why do you hate me?" I dressed him, lifted him off his bed and toward the door we went until he finally had to run up our driveway (a very long curved so you can't see the bus driveway) to make the bus. He was super angry with loads of him screaming "why are you always yelling at me?"

Tuesday (yesterday) the same. This time, however, he claimed to have an eye problem that he had to stay home for. Nope. Sorry.

This morning, I broke the law. Apparently there's some "new law" that says parents who raise their voices and yell "Get your shoes on! You can't miss this bus. You have to go to school, it's the law. Every kid from grade 1 to grade 12 has to go, you're not being singled out. It's not a prison, it's an education. Do I have to call dad and tell him to drive all the way back to drive you back to school? Why is it you're 11 and can't put your own clothes on? Put the shirt back on! You can't just get undressed, you're going to school. How was I supposed to know you really have an issue with your eye when you are 100% fine from 3:15pm until 7am the next day? Yes, I will try to get you in for an appointment but they may not have time for you today, they have a business. Why am I putting your socks on? This is your JOB. You can't miss this bus, lets go NOW." Then he hits me with the knowledge that it's a law that I'm breaking that says I can't yell at a child and tell them to go to school. It's a law, folks.

sigh.
I don't know what to do with him. I told him if he gave me any trouble today his bed time is 8pm and if he pushes it at all he will have to be up and ready by 6:45 when his dad leaves and be at school at 7am where he'll sit by himself from 7-7:30. I don't know why he calls school prison. I don't know why he hates it. He thinks if he acts bad enough he will be homeschooled. Not happening. I just don't get it. I'm at my wits end. I know I cave too easily. I know I shouldn't dress him but it's the only way to get him out the door. If I leave him he will certainly not get dressed or go to school. Then I'm getting letters of truancy and looking at fines and jail time. sigh.

Anyway, there's my frustration for the day. Everyone is off doing their "time" and I'm going to start transcriptioning. :)

Tulsa's Club Scene

Tulsa is a hotbed for all types of clubs - yes, even the kind you mix and mingle over drinks but that's not really what I'm talking about today. Some of these clubs have been around since the 40's and the range of interests marry up well with whatever boredom you happen to be in at the moment.
Let's peruse, shall we?

Into RC planes and drones?  Check out The Tulsa Glue Dobbers at Grant Wilson Field on just about any clear day!  Bring your plane and learn from this club which is believed to be the oldest in the nation (est. 1947)

Anyone ever tell you to go fly a kite?  Well, now's your chance to show your stuff!  The Tulsa Wind Riders (est. late 80's) is full of color and good fun and meets at 43rd and Garnett.  Not sure if your interested?  Well, then come by on 10 September for their annual Sky Dance Festival held in Broken Arrow at 21101E 101st St in Broken Arrow.

Into dressing up in 1800's costumes and shooting guns made before 1899? Ok, then call up the Tulsa Red Castle Gun Club to find out when their next event is.  It's a rootin' tootin' time for all!  (yeah, I said it.  Had to.)

Here's a few more:

Tulsa Press Club (est more than 100 yrs ago) - check out their 1st Draft Beer Tasting event Friday, 14 October 2016 from 5:30pm to 8:30pm - call 918-583-7737 for ticket information.

Intertribal Club of Tulsa is a great org for Pow-Wow and other tribal activities. Please visit their site for more information.

Tulsa Rugby Club has some really great matches!  Check them out

Ride! Ride! Ride! with the Tulsa Bicycle Club with events scheduled weekly!

Many more clubs are active!  Rowing, Fencing, travel, figure skating, toastmasters, horseback riding, many different flower clubs, bonsai, soccer, astronomy, go-karts, motorcycles, skiing, football, heritage clubs (scottish, irish, native american, islanders), military, religious, political, community sponsors (lions, shriners, etc), just about any type of animal club, audiophiles, vaping, amateur radio and much more!

11 Year Old Boy Knows All, Film At 11

The summer has ended and the kids have gone back to school.  My youngest turned 11 in June.  He knows everything.  He can raise himself.  He doesn't need an education.  All he needs is to be left alone.  According to him.

I know he's at the cusp of pre-teen hormone / testosterone crap but that doesn't make me feel any better.  If I slap my head anymore with my palm, I swear my brains will turn to mush and just drain out my ears.  I miss that kid that was sad to go to school "because I'll miss you too much".  The one that hugged me and always had "I love YOU more" fights with me.  This one I want to junk punch back into the past so I can have that other kid from before.  I wouldn't, of course.  I love the little jerk face.  I've not raised a hand to my kids in more years than I can count but this one...he's pushing it.

I started seeing the changes in 3rd grade.  His teacher was a bully and we told her so.  We told the school board and they were going to look into it.  Of course we never heard another word and we homeschooled the youngest.  4th Grade comes and he liked his teacher but was flunking hard in social studies.  Every time we'd talk to the teacher he'd tell us they kids weren't allowed to take home their books or notebooks, that his work should be done in class.  Us: "Well, um, he's failing so clearly he needs to study at home before a test."  Teacher:"Oh he's fine."  We just keep telling our kid "hang in there, soon you'll be in 5th and you'll have other teachers." 

5th Grade brings 4 teachers instead of one, to prepare them for Middle School.  One of them is awfully familiar.  You guess it yet?  Yep. Mr Social Studies has moved to 5th grade as...wait for it...his SS teacher.  SMDH.  So 5th grade was...great.  All along we're helping him, same problems, telling him to hang in there that he can't possibly be in MS too.

6th Grade, finally, all new teachers.  He's been in this school for a full month now.  Here's the run down. 
*Youngest already been fussed on by the bus driver for being too loud and obnoxious
*Needed two locks for locker and gym locker.  Got him 2 matching combination locks.  Refuses to use them, says they are confusing and he just can't get it.  Got him two mismatched key-locks.  Had to get them after school started so they were down to the more expensive ones.  One is too long, the other too fat and won't fit the locker.  Find out that he only needs one till next semester anyway.  Finally get him a lock that will fit and has a key.  Took 3 weeks but he got the lock.  Two matching locks, matching keys.  Can't screw this up. Or can we?  Lost his key the second day, left it somewhere at home.  Third day with new lock I gave him the spare key, forgot it while putting on his shoes.  I told him at the bus stop that I don't care anymore if his crap is stolen, have them cut the lock.  Long story short (but see below) no lock anymore, locks intact, I have both keys.
*Knucklehead gets a pass to go to the office and have his lock cut.  Leaves SS with note, goes to the office, they are sending someone to cut the lock.  45 minutes pass, SS is over, My kid is still sitting at his locker waiting for no one to come cut the lock. WTF.
*In the course of a month he's got 6 missing things from Language class.  Some of it was to be done in class but he didn't have his locker key...so he said.  Now he tells me they don't put their books in the lockers.  GRR.  I talk with the Language teacher (who is also his home room teacher, 1st period Reading teacher and Language for 5&6th periods...yep Language and Math at this school requires 2 class periods for all students) and she works with him.  I think he's caught up now.  (Oh please Sweet Baby Jesus)
*ISS.  Little precious has been in In School Suspension during lunch period for over a week now.  3 days last week for belching in the hall and cackling like he'd lost his mind.  Apparently that wasn't enough for him.  They told him then that if he came back for the same thing it was double.  Yep.  This time in someone's face and cackles like a mad scientist.  SMH.
*Math teacher sent him to the office to have the VP call home.  AngelFace was flailing his arms in class (he's smack dab center of this class).  When the teacher asked him "Do you want all day ISS?  Maybe I'll send you to the office.  Is that what you want?"  He looked her dead in the eyes and said "yup."  According to him, however, he was trying to get a spider off of him (he has a phobia) and he didn't know what else to tell her when she didn't believe him.
*SS he's failed a few things but the sub in there (teacher is out til xmas with cancer treatments) has been allowing him to redo them and try to get a passing grade.
*Every evening after school he refuses to do work until 7pm.  Throws a fit to go upstairs.  When I do make him do his work he takes it upstairs to listen to what the kids these days call ear rape.  Thanks Youtube.
*Never puts his work back in his binder.  When he does it's shoved whereever and never gets turned in.
*Morning is a nightmare.  NIGHTMARE.  He insists that I walk him to the bus.  I can't seem to figure out why.  He hates me.  6am I go turn on his computer so he can get up, play something, watch a video, whatever.  I gave up continuing to try to get him up.  I go get coffee, hang out until 6:30. From 6:30-7pm I'm on the bed with him, hugging him, kissing his head, talking to him, sometimes I bring the dog and let the dog attack him with a dog toy, sometimes I shake the bed.  Either way, the bus is here between 7:15-7:25 every morning. Not just outside the door but a 5 minute walk up the driveway...it's long.  We have to get out of here no later than 7:10.  Again, long story short, every day I end up putting clothes on the ragdoll who wakes up long enough to scream at me that he's just tired, he just wants to sleep, why can't I home school him again, stop snooping on his computer, whatever.  This morning I had to dress him, stand him up and walk him to his door, which I pushed him out of.  He went down the stairs on his own and I walked up with he and his older brother (16 and the best damn 16 yr old around) to the bus stop.  Yesterday we moved a bench my hubby built to the end of the driveway to wait for the bus.  At least they have a place to sit now.

I am legitimately at my wits end.  I know I'm enabling him.  I don't have a good vehicle or I'd just drive them up to school.  I have things in place to shut off electronics at a certain time.  He gets up and turns them back on.  He gets punished and instead of taking it he comes down here with hubby and I and literally spends all his time beside us, talking, whining, negotiating, aggravating the dog.  Hubby works from 7:15-3:30 every day coding websites.  He comes home and just wants quiet.  If I let the youngest behave like a fool then hubby's mad, had a bad night and bad next day.  You know the saying "when mommy has a bad day, everyone has a bad day"  nope... daddy.  We're about to get drastic on the kid.  His older brother, the saint, is to the point of jumping in and fussing on him when dad's gone on to work just to get the kid out the door.  He's mad the younger one has a complete lack of respect for himself and others.  yup, me too but yelling fixes nothing.  Of course, neither does taking things away, bribes or just avoiding him.  7 more years and he'll be an adult.  I hope to God I can talk some sense into the kid before then or he'll be in jail all his life. sigh.

Ruskie Mountain High

After his death, producer Roger Nichols released a 2-CD set of previously unreleased recordings of Denver's 1985 concert performances in the Soviet Union called John Denver – Live in the USSR.  This beautiful version of Annie's Song is in English and Russian.  

Enjoy !

Pandora's Box

A great app for the Verizon Samsung Galaxy 4 is Pandora.  I know, I know..... I really need to upgrade my phone but hey!  it works and I like it.  Problem solved.

Aaaand, I've discovered a neat thing about my car - it's bluetooth!  So now I can listen to my playlists all the time!

"Quit that or you'll get stuck that way"

Has that ever been true?  Have you ever made a face at someone and your face got stuck that way?  Why do we say that to our kids?  I'm not 100% sure I've said it to my kids but I know mama said it to me.  I was just telling a friend that I keep rolling my eyes into the back of my head when I talk about politics (school district all the way up to presidential) and every time I do it I think of my mama saying "quit that or you'll get stuck that way". 

So, if by chance I'm not on here for a long stretch between now and elections, know that I'm in the hospital with my physician standing over me and telling my family "I'm sorry, we did all we could.  Her eyes are stuck like that, in the back of her head.  If only she'd have listened to her mother, she'd have had a chance."

Just A Friend and Bust A Move

You know you've done a good job raising teen and preteens when they come in, hijack your computer, play Biz Markie's Just a Friend and sing the chorus loudly and badly.  It's hilarious and I'm so proud.  Then when youtube brings up the other videos that are similar or they recommend and Bust A Move by Young MC and your oldest won't let you choose anything but that.  That's my boy.  Happy Friday Ya'll...Bust A Move

Sleeping gas?

So the 11 yr old comes in and farts.  The dog was following close behind him, likely hoping the boy was eating something and would drop said something.  11 Yr old says "Hey buddy, are you feeling tired? I bet you are, that was sleeping gas" 

You see what I'm dealing with here?  Happy Hump Day! :p

The Power of a Decision

What is the single force that controls the quality of your life?  The one thing that makes or breaks the way you approach a situation, thought or forward action?

Everything in our life changes when you commit to just one thing.  That one thing is CHOICE.

Most people, especially myself, get sidetracked by focus.  I focus on the wrong things all the time.  This, in turn, tells me that I'm not worthy of getting better information to make better decisions.

Why?

Because my focus is on the negative - the horrible media going on these days, the lousy job I think I have but if I really applied myself, could be something greater.  My physical condition that, let's face it, says those Sunday doughnuts are the end-all-be-all to my existence.

But does all this focus cause me to put one foot in front of another with zeal and possibility or does it make me dread the coming moments?

Precious moments are lost forever five minutes from now.

So really the choices I make each and every moment of my life determine how my life will become greater and greater.

One choice I have is to decide what makes me afraid and to deal with it.  Why do I have these fears that manifest themselves into daily nightmares?  The future.  Success.  The fear of failing my family.  The fear of dying some horrible death, or worse, my family dying all around me.

Yep.  I have all those.

I remember Basic Training was absolutely the most fearful time of my life - just out of high school, never pushed myself to excel at anything, comfortable in the family fears that I had adjusted to -  being abused by uncles time and time again.  Yes, abuse is comforting in a very real sense because repetition trains your mind to accept the practice as "normal." So, the Army rocked my world with the stratagem of  training by dictating within me a different ground-shaking, soul-reaching mentality.
No fear.  No holding back.  In your face.

The Army has a way of showing you that to overcome a limitation in your mentality you need to get extremely physical, thus, the 2 mile run to clear your head, the push-ups to keep your focus, the situps to push the negative out of your belly which has a life force of its own - all these with intense "just do it!" attitude which has a way of making you look hard into a mirror.

So, if I don't like my job, I need to change it.  If I am afraid of success by writing a block-buster novel, I then need to surround myself with positive thinking people or media which then leads to positive actions.  Make decisions that create a greater good for myself and those around me.  Give a hug to someone every day.  Do a good deed every day.  Immerse myself in goodness and look at the negative as a choice of whether I want to engage or not and not make it the standard way of seeing the world in the One Shot that God has given me.  Is there a better way to think about a situation other than what I'm currently thinking?  Is there a better avenue to change a deeply learned trait that has taken me absolutely nowhere?

I'm pretty sure there is.  Now to make it happen.

Drop the Mic

One of my very best friends since beginning grade school was having a pretty standard hysterectomy coming up.  We shall call her Bat.  She's had a lot of pain and they knew she had polyps but couldn't tell the extent.  They could test for cancers but it would be easier after the surgery so they all opted to just do it.

The day of the surgery rolls around and I awaken, nervous for my bestie and sad I couldn't be there for her as she's many states away and I am having vehicular instabilities.  I hop on to FB and find this:

I thought about writing an essay entitled "If I don't come back" so if I died my family could make it with out me. It would contain things like "The black/brown/green/tan/or pink stuff you find in corners and cracks is mold. Use bleach" "Toilet paper is purchased at stores but you actually have to bring it home, take it to bathroom and place near toilet for use" "When you run out of underwear it is past time to do the laundry congrats on putting it off this long" "You ever wanna borrow the neighbors mower, cup of milk or sugar, you have to be nice to them way before hand. Try a pie when someone new moves in and wave when you see them" "The carpet has not always been brown, yes, you HAVE to vacuum it." "It the dog won't eat something you drop in the kitchen, its past time to mop." "You must sweep THEN mop. Otherwise, congrats, you made mud."

I also shaved, deep scrubbed and plucked my face, That way the make up artist can spend her time more wisely and do a nice eyeliner.

You see why I love her? My Bat girl drops the mic.  The best part is, I know she's 1/2 serious.  She took it all in stride.  She knows where she's been, she knows her family is awesome and would take care of each other, she is faith filled and okay with whatever was swinging in her direction.  I swore our pal and I would see to it that we spoiled and punished her family should the impossible happen.  Impossible because I asked every spirit guide, mostly my mom, to stand over her and see to it the docs got her in and out the door safely.  She's a faith and loved filled woman with a batsh*t sense of humor.  She's mah girl.

I post this now because she's home and doing great.  No word on test results yet but I'm certain she'll let me know.

She's Batfabulous.

Michael and Trisha's Wedding Video

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE WEDDING

SteamPunk Props

Congrats to my friend, Steve, who opened a new steampunk shop on Etsy!  If you get a chance, stop in and make it a favorite.  His prices are very reasonable considering the amount of work that goes into each prop.   Thank you :)

PunksmithArmory

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My Mom Flies Higher Than Me

I did my basic training at Ft. Jackson, SC back in the early 80's.  I had graduated Po-Dunk High School a couple of years before and wandered aimlessly around Birmingham with no hopes of getting a job any time soon other than refilling the salad bar at the local Shoney's.  I had applied for a position with Bellsouth but, at that time, there were racial quotas that had to be met and I wasn't in the color group they were looking for.  They actually told me this because at that time companies could admit to racial profiling and be proud to shove the application back and slam the door.

So, I went back home and my dad and I went to the local recruiter for the Navy (closed for an event), Air Force (closed for an extended meeting/lunch or their quarterly PT run 1000ft to the Hardee's for breakfast) but the Army was open so we walked in.  First thing out of my recruiter's mouth was "This is not the Private Benjamin Army, young lady!"

Ok, Exit.  Stage Right.  "My hair will poof." was the only thought going through my mind as the Army stations me in some remote jungle with nothing to get me home except a clean pair of socks and an outdated training manual.

I looked around at my life and didn't like the frustration of the coming years living in a town that, at the time, had nothing going for it except a gigantic grocery store called Food World, working at Wally World wasn't super back then and making the quarterly trip to the only Chinese restaurant 20 miles away.   Living in Huntsville wasn't an option because I hated Huntsville with every fiber of my soul.  My uncles lived in / around Huntsville.

I still wasn't sure about this whole Army thing but I did it anyway and when Mama found out, she cursed Dad and threw pots and pans in the kitchen, swearing I was a boy or gay or both.  She didn't like it one bit but I'm thinking she would have been ok with the Air Force - just not the Army.  It was too masculine and, deep in her heart, the secret fear was I would be shipped to a combat zone because the Vietnam had only over about 7 or 8 years prior.  She and my Uncle Lewis sewed military boots at Genesco for many years during the war which is why even the slightest hint of rubber cement takes me straight back to "the day" and a time when the slightest spark of conflict from any source sent our government into tailspins.  I reminded her that President Reagan hadn't approved of women in combat yet and the Wall was still up so there was a pretty good chance I'd be stationed at a support unit.

So I got on the cattle truck and said goodbye to my wasted future in Po-Dunk.

First week of basic training was beyond TV-Land for this here Couch-o Tate-o.  I had arrived in a Hell that would make most Pentecostal preachers shake their Bibles with the pure joy because preachers like to win and they like to gloat.

Run those aisles and jump those pews!  THAT GIRL IS IN THE ARMY!!  She'll be right as rain and come back to the fold after her tour because the Army will drive fear into her heart and show her that a woman's place is in the home! Hallah-louie! (I'm from the South - they say it this way where I'm from).

First week in Basic Training, I was ready to go home.  Just get me outta here - I've had enough.  I'm not ready.  I'm not prepared.  I'm not about any of this.

Second week in Basic Training, I no longer wondered what Hell was like.   I had arrived.

Third week in Basic Training, I was an ink drop away from signing myself back over to the civilian life.   Then, at that critical moment, I thought about several things:

- nothing waiting on me back home except working in a chicken plant the rest of my life.
- no chance at going to college - I'm a welfare kid - no need to say more than that.
- no car.  Parents can't afford to keep letting me borrow theirs.
- no future except to marry a chicken farmer or no-ambition country boy who still chases skirts.
- all dreams will be nothing more than that.

It was then that I made a call to my mom.  I have never forgotten the words she told me that day in that very brief conversation and to say I was surprised was like serving hot dogs at a World Summit For Peace Talks:

"You are a part of me and I have never been, nor will I ever be, a quitter.  I should have gone in the military myself when I was your age because I could beat that training with one hand tied behind my back.  I don't raise quitters.  Never have.  Never will.  You get back in there and do what you came to do and never forget I am very proud of you.  You can do this."

A Random Thought about Order

If order is the first law of the universe, and it is, then it must also be reflected in your physical life. Is your house organized? Your car? Your office? Your purse or wallet? One’s personal space is a reflection of their mind. As you organize your external world, you will begin to notice that you’ll start attracting more of the results you want.
That being said, I really need a maid :)

Steam Sale Days 7, 8 and 9

Only a very few days left of the sale.  Again, I'm disappointed there are not any daily deals because those draw you in every day, they make you excited to purchase more.  We use to spend a lot more money than we are now.  Good for us, bad for steam.

Click them once, Right Click and View Image for full size

Day 7





                            

                           Day 8 

Day 9 

God Gave You What??

So, I'm the only woman on a team of crusty old guys who, as it turns out, are mostly veterans.  I'm sure they didn't start out crusty but if they had a goal of being extremely baked bread, well, they have arrived. A lofty goal indeed.

Yesterday, I was going about my business taking a deep dive into the evil bowels of a SONET OC48 when upon my screen comes this IM:

"Make it stop" - says Benny (the names are changed to protect the insane)

"Make what stop?"  - says I.

"The evil that is upon me.  It's name is Don."

"Heavens be.  What has he said now?"

"He won't stop talking about himself.  If I hear one more story of his love for all things Don, I'm going to take matters into my own hands."

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!"

"that's one possibility."

"LET HIM EAT CAKE!!"

"Even if the frosting is in rainbow pansy pink, I'm still gonna shove it where the Don doesn't shine."

"You really must exercise some constraint, Benny.  I mean, there's no I in Team, yah know."

"You come sit over here then tell me that again.  I dare you."

"This has been a very productive discussion."

"There will be a great feast tonight celebrating my victory.  No storytelling allowed.  Just get shit-faced then leave my presence."

"Roger that."

I love my team :)   They have the sense God gave a split-pea and I guess I just fit right in.  That makes me happy.

Steam Days 5 and 6 Wallpapers

While I'm still not crazy excited about how slow the sale has gone and the lack of daily deals, I do absolutely love the pics they're doing.  Picnic stuff is soooo cute!  Yeah so I'm a girl.  I admit it.  I get may *awww so cuuuute* googly eyes too.  Now for days 5 and 6 of the Steam Sale.  Not that I need to remind you but it's only through July 4th!  Get some games and save them in your inventory for gifts later to friends. :)

Day 5










Day 6 

Book Review: The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Frye

Old Time Pottery loves me.  It beckons me to come hither and enjoy really only one section of its massive innards (ok, really, I love it all but I it would be catastrophic not to make this store feel special.  Millions of angry worms would march on my house if I hadn't explained myself so there it is).

The discount book section an be quite the wasted-time spender if one feels the need to just, well, waste an hour or so looking at the picked-over book selection.  You'll weed through Big Books of Crossword puzzles, sappy "oh-my-beating-heart-aches-for-your-manly-man-arms" romances, the "I-have-a-ton-of-answers-for-your-sad-pathetic-life" self-helps and many West Wing type dramas that will keep you enamored for many days trying to weed through all the bad writing and mysterious plots with holes bigger than a massive fart blow-out.

In the midst of the spineless wanna-be bestsellers, you find a gem.  A True Gem.

This gem - The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Frye by Rachel Joyce - will, at first glance, make you toss the book aside, the back page blurb of a unassuming man making an extraordinarily humble journey to visit a friend seem, for lack of a better phrase, a total yawn.   Who really cares if Harold makes the journey?  Who really cares if he finishes the journey?  And who really cares to know why he's on the journey?

I passed over the book 5 or 6 times before I said, "Ok, you win."

Harold reminds me of a lot of old couples I've met in my years.  One person takes in the attitude of another and creates a pseudo world of what turns out to be an uncomplicated life.  His wife slams pots and pans, fusses on Harold for just about everything and has hissy fits when the revolving world of emotions she has going on isn't met with the same fervor of genuine crabbiness she feels they deserve.

She's fighting her own inner demons and insists that Harold go along for the ride with no consideration to his own secret desire to make their life better through genuine interaction.

 He gave up a long time ago.

His journey starts with a simple letter written by a woman he worked with years prior.  She's dying and wanted to reach out to let him know.  He fashions a half-hearted response and decides to post it after several re-writes.  But the mailbox doesn't seem to provide enough of an effort of comfort he's trying to give her so he decides to mail the letter in town.

When he gets to town, he decides that the walk is so good, why not go to the next town to mail the letter?  After all, it will be one town closer to where she is.

The next town passes as does the next until there's a Forrest Gump reaction to sending this letter and makes the trek 500 miles to see this woman and offer her his solution to the cancer eating at her.

What makes this book special is the cast of characters that seemingly unnoticed at times, drift in and out of his journey making their appearances seem almost ghost-like.  Most ask him why he's doing this and some even marvel at his willingness to be something of an extraordinary man wishing they could be that dedicated to a task in their own lives.

Harold becomes a little famous.

Harold has conviction that if he makes this journey, he will have made a difference in at least one person's life and provide a private direction to the relationship, and ultimately a resolution.  His wife, Maureen, takes into account that without anyone to shower her emotional boxing on, she's left with going rounds with her inner demons.  Her journey is just as important as Harold's - just not as famous - but essential to rounding out the whole story to a satisfying conclusion.

Visit the Pottery or any new/used bookstore and pick up a copy.  Share it with your bookclub.  Keep it on your shelf and look at it every now and then.

Make the quiet journey with Harold.  You'll be glad you did.

I wasn't going to do it...Steam Sale made me

I've really been enjoying the Steam Sale images this year.  So much so, even from day 1, that I've saved them (the best parts of them) and put them in wallpaper form.

Now, at day 4, I'm sharing them all with you.  And maybe beyond.  I'm not affiliated with Steam in any way but I am a bit addicted to their sales.
All are sized 1920x1080

Day 1

Day 2 








Day 3

 Day 4

Vajingle Vajangle

This post is NSFM ... yeah, Not Safe For Men.  I love you guys but you're squeamish and easily disgusted by "lady time".

This morning my bff posted something on social media (and my sister said I had to blog) about Maya Rudolph doing a commercial for Seventh Generation.  Now, something called a Vajingle certainly sounds like an SNL skit but get this...it's real.  As real as the sun in our solar system.

Seventh Generation sells toxin free tampons, pads, diapers, detergents, soaps, etc.  They're green.  They also have a pretty decently long list of where to buy their products on and offline. (You know, offline, like where you use your legs to walk down isles of major stores and purchase things with plastic because we both know you ain't got no cash on you.)

Things to know about this southern mom of two...  I don't like wearing tampons.  Occasionally, they're fine but some days I wear one for a few hours and feel sick to my stomach.  I do like that when I wear them, and don't feel sick, that I forget how gross I feel when I'm wearing a big wet pancake in my drawers.  I'm disgusted by the, all too familiar, feeling when Flo uncontrollably pees out when you're walking somewhere.  The "do I need to change" feeling all the time or the "*sniff*sniff* is that me?" you get.  I cramp hard.  Like 6.0 activity on the Richter Scale.  Sometimes I shake, grumble and a bad one has me grabbing a chair, buckling my knees or hiding under tables until it's over.

I like the idea that there's a company out there that offers dye and fragrance free hygiene products.  I don't like the "do I smell" feeling but the fragrance pads are a ridiculous idea. Do I want to smell like I shoved a baby powdered tuna in my jeans?  No.  No, I don't.  And they tend to either break you out in a rash or nudge you in the right direction for a yeast infection.  Also unwelcome after you've thrown Flo out of the house on her ass for overstaying her welcome, again.  I know there is a Diva Cup out there but I've yet to try it. 

I think I might have to try these Seventh Generation things.  It will have to do until they come out with tampons stuffed with caffeine and pain relievers.  It's my dream that will one day become a reality.  "Chocolate cupcake scented tampons now release the equivalent of 2 cups of coffee into your lady bits every 45 minutes.  Good for the environment and non toxic!"  Ahhh.  A girl can dream.  Now I need to got down another piece of cake and cup of coffee.  Yeah it's 10 am.  Suck it, you're not my mom. :D

Sew....what?

Yes, I'm thinking about dusting off the sewing machine (again) and actually working up some aprons and things for the house.  Nothing to wear because I'm not my grandmother who was a tailor and made awesome things for church and family (bras, underwear, wedding dresses, men's tailoring, - you get the picture - she was outstanding).

So I was thinking of a lot of DIY upcycle type of stuff when it hit me that I could make some skirts into aprons.  It would be handy because I have pretty skirts that my chunky behind can't wear anymore and it would at least look like I was .... uhm........creative.

Another thought was to make Butt Bags but I'd have to make my own pattern up.  I'm not very good at that so I'm on the hunt for anything that I can modify to my own pattern.

A Butt Bag you ask?  It's a pair of jeans made into a purse.  I have one and get more compliments on it than anything in my wardrobe.  Go figure.

"Pube could have saved my life last night"

Very seldom do my kids drop a gem that I have to stop everything and blog about.  The 15 year old is playing Words With Friends with his girlfriend and talking about how she usually kicks his butt.  "Last night, " he says "ohh ho last night, this word could have saved my life...but they wouldn't let me use it".  Yes folks he typed pube.  In all my days I never thought I would hear the words come out of my mouth "so a pube could have saved your life last night?"

This is what it's about folks.  No photo this post but you can have the mental image of me dropping the mic.

Costumed Characters

When I was little the only time we got to play dress up was homecoming week at school and Halloween.  These days clothes are costumes.  From jackets that zip over your head and face that look like Darth Vader to hoodies for My Little Pony's Rainbow Dash.  They're cute and fun!  For kids and grown ups!  I want to get them so I can wear them all the time!  I'm so excited that it's not just for kids anymore.  I mean, just a few weeks ago Chewbacca Mom, Candace Payne, went insanely viral.  Everyone flipped because she was so excited to have a mask that made the Chewbacca noise when she moved her mouth. I still laugh till I cry.  Not really over the mask but the joy it brought to her actually brought joy to millions of people (155,492,990 Views as of today).  Like she said, it truly is the Simply Joys.

So here we are in June, right.  Both of our boys have birthdays.  No, we didn't plan it.  I've been asked a lot.  They are exactly 5 years and 7 days apart (well and a few hours) but no not planned out that way.  The youngest is turning 11 and he's one of many who are nuts about this Undertale game that  has throwback late 1980's graphics. Apparently, this was a crowfunded campaign that received over $57,000 backing, took nearly 3 years to complete and has overwhelmingly positive reviews on Steam.  Toby Fox, his three brothers and Temmie Chang not only wrote the game but did it on RPG Maker 2000 and Toby Fox, himself, composed all the music.  It's nuts.  Games like this in the 80's were short lived but now they're the bee's knees.  The 11 yr old is crazy about it.  Crazy.  He plays it all the time.  When he's not playing it, he wants to listen to the soundtrack on my phone.  He knows all the characters, their names, where they came from, everything they've ever done on every run of the game, ANNND he's watched nearly ever video on youtube of every other kid in the known universe playing the game.

Back to the birthday.  So now he wants to dress like Sans and Papyrus, a couple of the main characters.  The eldest boy is 16 and he says we should get him some kind of Sans costume.  There's not one but he can cos-play it pretty easily!  It's a skeleton kid wearing a blue hoodie, (technically everything is black and white in the game so this is from fan art) with black shorts and pink slippers.  He also would need skeleton gloves and mask.  I've tried to find everything from plushies to plastic toys and I'm not having great luck.  No crochet patterns available, those that have made them in crochet or sewed dolls have closed their commission sales for a while.  All of them.  I found some great tshirts but they're in Lithuania and take 2-3 weeks to get here.  Considering that's when his b'day is, um, no.

I'm sure we'll figure something out.  sigh.  The crap we do for our kids.
Anyway, I guess that's about it.  Not much going on this month aside from birthdays, an appointment or two, my uncle is having surgery and we're having our 17th anniversary (which is pretty awesome).  I'm certain the kids will have plenty of whack-a-doodle things going on for me to post.  Until then I'll go surf Etsy and wait impatiently for Steam to have their summer sale (supposedly to start June 23-July 4 2016).

Mmm Drugs

Yesterday, I took my 10 yr old son to the dentist.  He's okay with going, it never really bothered him.  There is only about a week left of school.  Less than that really because this full week and then next week is 3 full days, Thursday off and until 9:30am Friday.  So there shouldn't have been a reason he'd not want to go to school after his appointment at 10am.  Here's how it went down.

Mom :  So after the appointment I'll run you back to school.
10yrOld :  What time?
Mom : hm about 11am or so
10yrOld :  Why can't I just stay home?
Mom :  Dad said you need to finish school, every day.  Unless they do something in the dentist office where they have to give you drugs but it's just a cleaning.
10yrOld : But I don't get it, why can't I stay home?
Mom :  What did dad say?
10yrOld : He said I can't stay home unless they give me drugs.
Mom : You didn't get drugs, you got a cleaning.
10yrOld : Can we get drugs?

I laughed hysterically until I cried.  When I finished I messaged his dad and got on the road to the school.  Package dropped, I headed home...alone.  Much to his dismay.  Not a drug was to be had.

Once Upon A Time

Since the dawn of time there have been parents with hilarious, terrifying, maddening stories about their family, their children, daily outings, their parents and, in general, every day lives. I want this to be the place we share ours.

This year I plan to celebrate Mother's Day 2016 a new way.  Immortalizing our stories for your entertainment. 

We are starting this off with 4 bloggers (If I can blackmail them into agreeing with this) and I hope to one day have guest bloggers and forums.

To get us rolling this photograph is of me from a few years ago.  We were releasing our ladybugs in and around their new home...and in my eye.

Stay tuned! ~Keisha