I know there's an end to it. Occasionally I think I see a speck of light. A morning when he gets up, he's giggly and goes off to play a game or watch a video while he wakes up, he hears me come up the stairs to ask him to get dressed and he leaps up and throws on clothes and when it's time for the bus he's out the door before his older brother and we're there early, no running up the 200+ feet driveway. That happened one day this week. Monday, maybe Tuesday. I don't know, they've all run together and it's only Thursday.
Today, I woke him at 6am as usual. Hubby has been going in early this week, leaving at 6:10-6:15am. The rule was if 11yrold misbehaved we would just let him start going in with dad, get dropped off at 7am on his way to work and he'd just be there an extra hour a day. If he can't get up and go for me then he'll get up and go with dad. That plan is non-existent while he's going in early because no one would be there at 6:20-6:30am at the middle school. Hubby makes a 1/2 hour drive to work and back every day and because he's there early this week it would make going in early not matter if he has to drive home and get 11yrold jerkface and take him 5 miles to prove a point.
So, back to today. He woke at 6am. I turned on his game, gave him hugs and kisses, his alarm went off, he growled at me and rolled back over. I explained that his game was on and I would be back. I made hubby's coffee, gave him smooches and he was out the door for work. Back up the stairs I go at 6:15, wake up 11yrold, more hugs, speaking calmly, I even got him a drink. The dog came in and gave him kisses so he got up and got to his game. YAY! Winning!
I gave him until 6:45 to get in some wake up time. I went in to ask him to get dressed and it was 20 minutes of hissy time.
11: You don't ever listen to me. I'm sick.
me: You are not sick, you were just playing your game.
11: See, you don't listen to me.
me: I don't have to when you say the same thing 180 days out of the year. You're sick, I don't listen to you, I'm making you go to prison, you hate it there, you want to be home schooled, I hate you because I'm making you go to a prison where you'll grow old and die. Now, honey, what was it that you wanted to say? I'm listening.
11: Well you said what I wanted to say.
me: Exactly. So how is it that I'm not listening when I just knew what you were going to say?
11: You don't listen to me!
All of this was while I was trying to get socks on him because he's not doing it himself. I hurt his leg because I was holding it steady to get the sock on. I get his legs in his pants and the shirt over his head before I walk off to get myself ready to walk them up ... because for whatever reason, he really likes when I walk up with them. Even when he's mad. After all this he gets down the stairs and gets his shoes on. I think I might have sent my 16yrold out in a hoodie for girls, if there's such thing, but he doesn't care because he'll take what he gets and rock'n'roll with it. That's his flow. 11yrold yells at me that he's sick and I won't even give him medicine. I say, really? Because I've said I'll take him to the doctor and medicate whatever is causing all this and he refuses saying it'll just make him angry. So that's not an argument.
I don't know, I don't get it. I wouldn't care to take them to school. Let them sleep a little longer and just drive them in but first, 16yrold has a friend on his bus that he loves to hang out with and second, my van just won't do it every day. I could go pick up the friend and I wouldn't hate that but again, I can't. My old van blew some tube. I'd type it all out but as a general rule it's going to be a mom reading this crappy post, not a mom/mechanic who knows what I mean or cares. The newer van I got was $700. The guy got it as a trade in from a young woman whose name wasn't on the title but she's just bought it and wanted a truck or something. He wouldn't return the money when I realized I had to hunt down the original seller several counties away to get the title signed over to me so after a ton of trouble, a ton of running, the van was mine. Now it's got tons of problems (as you'd expect) and when you start it, if it starts because that's tricky (been stranded until it decides it wants to and the culprit is none of the usual suspects) then you have a loud exhaust from front to back that super stinks. The auto door locks keep you from getting in the side and back doors 98% of the time, the key is bent and will eventually give up the ghost, there's some electrical damage, a recall on an item that sets the vans on fire was never repaired, the gauges go bonkers and I have to use my cell phone as the speedometer and guess at fuel consumption and the back passenger break is stuck on something and keeps making a screeching sound unlike the one it makes when it's worn down. So, yes, driving them every morning isn't even a valid option.
I'll wrap this one up and start working on another, less boo-hoo post about the new work I'm doing. :) If anyone has suggestions or any chest thumping "I feel ya girl!" that you'd like to share, I'd love to read the comments. :)
***Edited to add: Yesterday I received an email that in his SS teacher that his behavior is a problem. He says inappropriate things, leaves books in class or gets other students books or "does something to a student. Nothing big, just aggravating." Today I get a call from the vice principal letting me know he dropped the F bomb in Math class so he'll be in ISS tomorrow. This evening he came in with a letter from Math saying he has an after school detention on Tuesday for "grade recovery" and one from Science saying basically the same thing.
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