Me: The chicken nuggets are ready. Have at it.
Hubs: (walks into kitchen, puts nuggets on plate and stops in his tracks): Woman, I'm gonna have to teach you the proper condiments to serve with nuggets.
Me: I got the mustard, ketchup, spicy ketchup and BBQ sauce out, Your Holiness. What did I forget.
Hubs: It's NOT mustard and ketchup, woman. It's BBQ sauce and Honey Mustard.
Me: Wait. We have Honey Mustard? I didn't see that in there.
Hubs: That's because I was hiding it from you. I know how you are. I'd blink and the honey mustard would be gone. Much like the BBQ sauce is.
Me: I can't believe after all these years you don't trust me with the Honey Mustard. Who feeds you? Who scrubs your back in the shower? Who tends to the dogs and makes
sure they don't bother you while you're recovering from surgery? Who looks at your Harley and makes sure it's still shiny as all hell? Who, I ask you!?
Hubs: Don't be eyeballing my bike. And next time, it's 9 chicken nuggets - not 8. Dogs have to snack, too.
Me: Leave my presence and never return.