Being an Empath ... Me in a Nutshell

Artemis - Goddess of the Hunt/Moon
Copyright Lila Telrunya
http://lilatelrunya.deviantart.com/

As a child I was always ... different. I could remember things I should not have been able to remember from a life other than my own. I kept to myself, learned things differently. I thought I was "normal". During my teen years I learned I could see and feel things about others. I could pass people in the halls and feel darkness, feel pain, feel joy. I could see colors around them, sometimes faint and sometimes brilliant like a halo of light.
I was different.

I am different.

I am an Empath.

Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other person's frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another's position. ~Wikipedia

Empath : Being an empath is when you are affected by other people's energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. Your life is unconsciously influenced by others' desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods.  ~The Mind Unleashed

I am sometimes highly sensitive or hypersensitive regarding feelings and emotions of others.  I've learned to suppress it some over the years.  Sometimes when I feel it, it's an overwhelming sense of confusion and not what that person is feeling ... Or even what I'm feeling. 

(Side note : I've discussed with a couple of doctors over the years that I may have ADHD or have a type of Autism.  They call me depressed and try to medicate me.  I know what depression is and it's not when you are completely happy with your life and your mind is a fog.  You know things, and you can see a thought in your mind, a memory or something you learned that you want to focus on but you can't.  It truly is like I'm standing outside in the fog and I know I'm close to something but I don't know what.  I can't reach it, I can't grab it, I just know it's there.)  The worst feeling of all is when I'm very close to someone who I should know what they are feeling and yet I don't.  I misjudge and am confused, only making matters worse. 

I wasn't sure how to begin the blog so I typed "being an empath" into Google.  I already know, and have known, that I'm an empath.  It fits and I've never had any doubt.  Their search showed an Empath Test so I clicked it. 

My results :

Your Super Serious Title is: The Moon Goddess Empath :
You scored extremely high on the overall results. You are definitely an empath.

You are highly intuitive and can almost always tell when people are lying. You like water but don't absolutely need to be near it. Your second chakra does okay. You love nature and unconsciously understand its healing effects -- which is a general, but strong indicator that you are an empath. You have a deep love and appreciation for nature. You recognize the sacred expression of all beings. You are truly wise. But you seem fairly normal -- able to influence people at times.

You need to learn how to recognize and differentiate other people's energy from yours. Learning psychic/empathic meditation tools will help. You scored extremely poorly on the "Mirroring Others Unconsciously" portion of the quiz. It looks like you have a tendency to mirror other people and their energy. Your score indicates that you would benefit from learning to recognize your own energy vs other people's and cord removal most likely.

You scored extremely low on the "Has Protection Tools" section of the quiz. This means that your ability to protect yourself energetically is really bad. Your empathic abilities are causing you grief. You are no doubt an out of control healer and would benefit from energy healing, cord-removal, and visualization tools for releasing responsibility. You are so caring and loving that you put others before yourself -- to your detriment. You are most likely an out of control healer. You would benefit from energy work and empath tools for releasing guilt and responsibility.

I'm truly not surprised by the results.  I like being around water but I'm drawn to it in a way I don't like so in a way, I fear it and stay away.  I love nature and plants.  I love healing with organic medicines, vitamins, plants and herbs.  I do tend to mirror when I'm around someone particularly angry, and I absolutely have a terrible time protecting myself.  I feel responsible, when I am around those in a sad mood, to lift them up.  Everyone has a bit of empath in them but very few break down into tears when you pass a person in a store for apparently no reason, feel a pain in your face when you pass a car with a young woman in the passenger seat looking at the sky or feel a sickening tingle in your stomach when you see a photograph you've seen many times before.

That happened to me today.

I am on Facebook at least once a day.  Generally, I'll scroll through in the mornings and pay little attention unless there's something about crochet.  (Not enough coffee in me to focus on much else.) This morning I felt a burning feeling when I scrolled past one post so I kept going and didn't read it.  When I left the page and came back, it was there waiting for me.  A friend had been shoved into a wall by her husband...on Mother's Day...because he was drunk...and because their toddler had come to them again to be put back to bed.  (Some how she was a bad person and he had to hit her.  At that point I was in a rage.)  After I messaged her I went on, still saddened by what I had read but trying not to take it emotionally on as mine. 

I passed a picture of a couple of my friends from high school (20 years ago) and their little brother.  Everyone was happy and smiling.  I'd seen it a few times but this time I felt something in my stomach, a knot and a feeling telling me to stop.  I looked at it, no comments. I started to scroll on.  I noticed at the top her mood was heartbroken and immediately I knew it was their brother.  I found their brother's wife, who I grew up with, and she had also recently posted "heartbroken" and a picture of her husband.  Already tearing up, I messaged her asking if they were okay.  They were not.  He had gone to a friend's house last night and he had ... departed.  I bawled.  All I could do is offer condolences to her and his sisters in private messages (it's obvious they are not ready to announce it) and tell them I know I can't do anything now but I'm here when they need me.

I reached out to my sister who was good friends with the sisters in high school and we both still talk to the wife on occasion.  She was upset with me for taking it to heart.  "Why does it bother you? We didn't know him, not really.  We haven't talked to them in years." etc etc and then my favorite ... "You really need to not take these things personally." 

Thanks for that. 
Certainly I do this to myself on purpose. :\ 

I would like to publicly say something about Empaths.  If you know one or ever meet one...

1)  We do not do this to ourselves.
2)  We can not help that we take things personally.
3)  If we could shut it off and not feel an enormous amount of knee dropping pain every time someone close to us loses someone, we would.
4)  We do not "get off" on going to funerals or funeral homes but we will be there when we know survivors could use a hug or a shoulder.

5)  It doesn't matter if we hardly knew the person, or not at all.  When those emotions hit, it hits like a tsunami.  You can not always see it coming but it hits hard, rolls out and back in again whenever it wants and at whatever velocity it sees fit...not what we see fit. 
6)  Sometimes, and certainly in my case, when it's a particularly emotional thing, when it's someone we know or when it's around an emotional time of the year from another loss ... Sometimes we are overwhelmed with the pain we felt from another occasion and not from today.
7) Don't be a jerk.  This is a pretty basic rule that just applies to everything.

It hurts both physically and emotionally.  To then be insulted afterwards does not help.  If you know an empath and they need you for five minutes, let them cry, tell them the same thing you would tell anyoneI know that doesn't help t (I would hope) that has experienced a similar loss.  "He was a troubled soul who is at peace.  hose that remain but be strong for their family." 

Suck it up, buttercup, does not work. 

It took a lot of meditation and talking to my husband, who reminded me that I needed to focus my emotions on helping the family to help me and make my emotions roll out with the tide.  As any empath will tell you, we know it's not about us.  It's not about me.  However, if I'm overwhelmed in an ocean of waves, I can't always see anyone else or know where to go.  Once I see a sign or hear a voice that reminds me what this is, I can focus.

Today, I needed someone to help me focus.  I know this is not about me, it never was.  Empathy is a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong.  I love walking past people and feeling giggly, feeling enormous love or kindness. 

Today, for me, hurt most because Mother's Day was hard. My sister and I are now mothers to two boys (each) who never met our mother.  She's been gone nearly 18 years.  This Mother's Day was particularly hard for some reason.  When I felt the pit about my friend, I already knew what was coming.  I was already shaking my head and saying "no, no, no" as I typed to his wife.  All the emotions of loss I'd been trying to suppress yesterday began bubbling over into this.  It wasn't all about him.  He was just the kid brother from 20 years ago that use to hang out with us when I'd drive folks somewhere.  He was still important to me because he was a good guy, loved his wife and kids (even though they were separated and figuring out life), he was still someone very much in weekly conversations with people we care about and it still hurts to know it happened.  My heart aches for his kids, for the wife who had to identify her husband, for the two sisters who lost their mom only a couple of years ago and now have lost their only brother.  It is a shock to all that know him and a moment of weakness I'm certain, even from the other side, he wishes he'd never had.

If you are an empath, you are not alone.  You are never alone.  There are more of us than you think.

If you know an empath, don't be a jerk.  Sometimes feelings and energies lurch them forward to feel things that you may not understand but they don't always understand it either.  Try to be understanding, try to help them focus on putting up the energy wall.

If you don't know and are not an empath ... just don't be a jerk.  As I said, it's always just a good rule to live by.

Confessions ... Through the Bathroom Door.

"Would you quit it?
Every.single.time.
Nope.  You have to wait.
I said no!  I'm pooping.
Are you kidding m... WAIT!
Every.FLIPPIN.TIME.
Oh, fine. FINE. I didn't need to do this NOW anyway.  I'll just get up and take care of YOUR needs.
No. No. No. After you, your highness."

Anyone that says raising dogs is not remotely like raising kids can kiss my rear.  Moose, our Miniature Schnauzer, will wake from a dead sleep when he hears the bathroom door or me on the potty.  He will go to the front door and stretch a couple of times and in the third stretch he'll ring the bells on the side of the door to alert me that he HAS to go out.  He will ring those bells like The Hunchback of Notre Dame until I finish my business or give up trying.  Even if I've just put him out and let him in again.  *sigh* Kids.

Facebook Hack vs. Facebook Cloning

**I am sharing this with friends and family as well, so disclaimer ... this is not about you.  I've stopped following people to lessen my chances of being cloned or duped but you need to know this too**

If you use or have used Facebook at all, you know about hacks and clones/duplications (dupes).  I've been asked about the differences and I am happy to explain.  I've helped others to fix their accounts or I've done it myself.  The thing is, you have to listen.  I know it sounds silly ... or maybe even mean.

If a kid climbs a chair and touches the stove eye, you kiss their little hand and you explain fire is hot.  If they sit in front of a light socket with a fork, you rush in and tell them, "No, no" and explain why that will cause an undesired reaction.  I tell, on average, 1-2 people a month they've been duplicated.  Sometimes the same people.  I post or explain in detail.  I thought it might be easier if I put this here and then link to it somewhere.  Hopefully it won't be needed, but if it is you can pull this post down from the shelf, dust it off and see if it helps.

Now I'm sure you're all wondering why I have that image there.  What does it all mean?  I'll tell ya.  THIS IS HOW THEY GET YOU.

I will not give you the name of the "person" who posted all these images.  This "person" has a profile on Facebook and this is what they do.  All day, every day, they post images of Jesus, an 11 month old baby with amputated legs, a lovely young woman or two (the two on the right are actually the same young woman) and they will type things like, "Beautiful Baby <3 <3 Please Type Amen & Pray for Him :)", "I cried when I lost my second hand in and accident...Now people no longer like me because they say that I'm ugly and lame. So please tell me the truth, am I still beautiful___???? YES/NO", "Do you think I'm beautiful without my arm, Don't go without pressing like and comment a amen if you're not embarrassed of me" and "My Husband says i can't get many likes because I'm disable and ugly. If you think I'm beautiful please hit a # Like and Type AMEN".

If you've seen these and shared them, you are a beautiful, loving, caring ...sucker.  And I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you so hard.

I've covered their faces because 1) I would swear on the soul of my mother that not one single one of those women or the parents of that baby know that their photos were stolen and used in such a way on the internet and 2) I refuse to be a part of what they are doing.

This "person" has a profile.  Likely one they made up or belonged to someone and they changed the name ( we'll get to that ).  This one just happens to almost be the Spanish translation of eliminate cancers, but changed slightly to not be detected.  We shall call him Scammer. Regular, every day, good people like you saw that this "person" shared an image.  We'll use the baby one for our example.

This young baby boy has fibular hemimelia, a birth defect where part or all of the fibular bone is missing.  Foot and knee deformities are common.  This baby boy is almost 3.  I will be emailing his parents with the link to the scammer on FB when I'm done here.  While it's a beautiful thing that a complete stranger would ask for prayers for a beautiful baby, the problem is what you're not seeing.  First of all, when you click like, heart, any emoji or share a photo, Scammer now has your first and last name.  He can mouse over your name and see what city/state you live in.  It might say "message" so he can message you.  He can click your name and go to your page.  If you haven't fixed your privacy settings, Scammer can see all of your friends, all of your shared photos, maybe even your cell number, the names and links to your kids, sisters, parents pages.  They have you.  Scammer can click the baby picture, save it to his hard drive or phone, use any paint program to put Thumbs Up= AMEN, <3= Pray and everyone who wants to say AMEN or pray will click and add their  names.

Legitimate places like newspapers, magazines, etc, they won't bother to do that.  They don't want to steal your info and can be sued.  Scammer, he doesn't care.  He wants likes, information, etc.

That baby boy had his photo stolen and used so Scammer could get follows.  The first image shows you that BUT when you shared the photo you shared from a regular guy, a guy with a selfie, a guy who had a job as a Publisher at "MyLikes".  Or maybe you didn't look at all.  You said "aw" and hit send or like many many others commented prayers for the baby.  (Again, it's wonderful to pray for them, not against it...just warning you of the dangers.)  They can steal your baby's photos, your sister's selfies, your mom's pics after an accident ... anything you've posted.

What you didn't see was Scammer's profile.  He has over 774,000 following him.  (While I was looking at images and searching for their owners he gained nearly another 100 more followers...in minutes. OH, and yes, I am trying to find the owners of the other photos.)  He works for a place that doesn't exist but it's a hint at what he's after.  Scammer clearly wants you to email him for advertising.  He's willing to steal photos of people from their pages and slap your company logo on it for a fee.  The photos of "him" likely aren't even his.  The more I scrolled the more I saw.  Scammer has his own webpage and it's his name from FB.  He wants you to visit his page for riveting articles like 12 Oral Positions That Are Far Better Than Doggy Style.

This is where Cloning / Duplicating comes in.
You liked, commented, shared and they have your name.  They have your profile picture and your friends list.  They'll open a new page with your name and harvest your friends.  Then they will do the same to then.  Eventually they'll either post stuff on the new page or change the name once they have all your friends and they'll never know why they're on this person's page, they'll just be there.

If you have been cloned / duplicated, REPORT the other person's page.  If your friends get requests and they KNOW it's not you, have them REPORT the other person's page.

Hacking is when they have your email address, phone number and/or password.  They log in to your account and change things so that you can't get in.  You have no recourse but to contact facebook and jump through 1000 hoops for them to believe you are you.

I would love to say the internet is a safe place. It is not.

I would love to say 100% of the people who want you to share things are truthful.  They are not.

If you see an image you like and would like to share, put it on your phone/computer and drag/drop it into a message to send.  If you can't trust the sender or page, DON'T SHARE IT.  Make it a new message.  You can send 100 messages+ a day with funny things, inspirational messages, etc but please be careful what you share, like, comment on.  Look into the page/person you are sharing from, go to their page to make sure they're not a scammer.
Tips:
If they have hundreds of thousands of likes/shares
If they have a name that makes you look at your computer with one eye squinted
If they have their email address on their front page selling their "services"
If their page has nudes, sketchy links to pages that likely have a virus attatched in some way...
or
If they have ANY image with no one's name or information on it linking to them but are asking for likes, shares, amens, prayers, etc
PLEASE DO NOT Share, Like, Comment!  You are putting yourself and anyone on your list at risk.

This also goes for some survey/quiz.  I love a good quiz.  BE CAREFUL what site you go to.  Be careful what you allow to have your fb login information too.  If they post as you now, they can do it for anything else (it's why people see game stuff all the time...they can post whenever).  AND especially quizzes that have something that compares you to someone on your list, fines your "stalker", your best friend, your look alike, your mate, 4 people who would fight zombies with you, whatever ... This allows them complete access to your account and your friends list.

Tighten your FB security every so often.  Change passwords.  Be Safe.

That's all I can think of for now.  If I've left anything off, please feel free to comment!!!

International Women's Day 2017

Today is International Women's Day and I want to tell you what it means to me.


Today is just another day.  Another day of putting the dog outside, kissing hubby goodbye on his way to work where he will bust his butt so we can have things, walking the kids to the bus stop and telling them I love them and hope they can have a wonderful day.  I come back inside, put the dog out again, read some news, have some coffee, crochet items for people, clean the home, do the dishes and laundry.  Tonight I'll make dinner.  We will eat until we are full and we will go to bed to do it all over again.  We're blessed.

Today is just like any other day and I wouldn't change that.

For the media to ask women to take today off and show them what life would be like without women in the workplace is asinine. Don't lose your job to prove your worth.

I am a proud woman. I am a proud mother and wife.  I don't have to march somewhere to say that.

Women in this country and other countries should not have to have a day to march just to say we are important, that we are EQUALS.  Not your race, your religion nor your sex should stand between you and what you want to be in your life.  Give love and inspiration, even when you don't always feel like it.  For those women who are beaten down by life, by others, know that you are loved and there is more for you out there. 

This day shouldn't have to be a thing.  All we ask is equality.  Women shouldn't have to worry every time they leave their home or vehicle about who is going to hit on them, assault them or rape them.  Not in any country, anywhere.  We shouldn't have to worry whether IF we are assaulted, will the government of male majority decide that my body is something they can control. 

I was raised to speak my mind, to be honest.  I love others and expect it in return.  I may be crass and sometimes unbearable but so can everyone else.  Women are amazing creatures, but so are men, so are those that don't consider themselves a gender but as a people, so are children.  We don't have to have a day to point that out.  It just is.

Wot in Tarnation?

This meme broke out recently with random objects and faces having a cowboy hat on them.  From what I've read it really is nothing more than a "What in Tarnation?" or "Wot in Tarnation?" joke.

"What in tarnation?", for those that haven't figured it out, means the same as saying, "What in the name of God?", "What the hell?", "WTH?" or "What in the Wide World of Sports?".  It is a response (usually) to people saying, "Hold my beer" and doing something with such enormous stupidity that you are flabbergasted into saying the first thing that comes to mind.

In the south it's usually along the lines of :

"Wat in tarnation has that boy done got into? Has he lawst his damn mind? What if his mama sees him? Good God what if the preacher sees him? Lord, help my time. We gotta get that boy down from there before he kills his fool self."

This very scenario happens a lot.  I'm sure you can google that these days and find ample amounts of idiocy directly under, "Here, hold my beer".

In the past it's been used in the south by every grandparent ever.  Applejack on My Little Pony Friendship is Magic series says it. Yosemite Sam said it.  Actual origins of the word are unclear.

I figured the new meme's were funny enough and getting weird enough that it was time to share the translation and some of the funniest memes I've found.

Welcoming in 2017

I just did a post on my crochet blog and I thought I'd come on over here and share that magic.
@Home Ninja by Keisha

2016 was crap.

We did have a lot of good things happen.  Hubby has spent a year at a job that gave him a couple of bonuses.  They're awesome when he needs time off.  Best yet, he's not had to leave home for a week, two weeks or a year and a half at a time like construction.  He doesn't get calls from the bosses wife that leaves him upset.  He's relaxed and happy.  Our boys are actually doing pretty well in school. One is in Advanced Choir and loves it.  The younger one is a pain in the butt but he's enjoying band more.  I'm selling hats recently and I love that.  My MIL's health has been steady which is actually awesome because this time last year she'd just had a stroke and we were scared for her.

Down side was political craziness, soul crushing debt (ie. mortgage and bills), dead van(s), I don't make enough money to be an important part of fixing that crushing debt and my dad's health is steadily declining.  BUT that was then.

This is 2017. This year I hope to crochet more.  I hope to figure out a job or company to start.  I want to make money for my family. I'd love to lose 25 or so lbs too, since I'm just throwing things out there to break. What do you have planned?

What's In Your Nugget?

Me: The chicken nuggets are ready. Have at it.

Hubs: (walks into kitchen, puts nuggets on plate and stops in his tracks): Woman, I'm gonna have to teach you the proper condiments to serve with nuggets.

Me: I got the mustard, ketchup, spicy ketchup and BBQ sauce out, Your Holiness. What did I forget. 

Hubs: It's NOT mustard and ketchup, woman. It's BBQ sauce and Honey Mustard.

Me: Wait. We have Honey Mustard? I didn't see that in there.

Hubs: That's because I was hiding it from you. I know how you are. I'd blink and the honey mustard would be gone. Much like the BBQ sauce is.

Me: I can't believe after all these years you don't trust me with the Honey Mustard. Who feeds you? Who scrubs your back in the shower? Who tends to the dogs and makes sure they don't bother you while you're recovering from surgery? Who looks at your Harley and makes sure it's still shiny as all hell? Who, I ask you!?

Hubs: Don't be eyeballing my bike. And next time, it's 9 chicken nuggets - not 8. Dogs have to snack, too.

Me: Leave my presence and never return.